A fleece blanket or something like that was proffered in exchange for a second donation. It featured the official USA Olympic logo of course. Only the logo was virtually invisible because the blanket came in either the darkest Navy Blue of all time, or Black. Okay, so I’m color blind. You got a problem with that?

No mention was made of where the blanket was from. Having been singed once by their feckless flag I pointedly declined the USOC’s entreaty and figured I’d heard the last from them.

But noooooooo.

"Dear Bart," their email began. Hey wait a minute. How’d they get my email address? All of our previous correspondence has been via "snail mail." Hmmm. What’s next, a knock at the door?

You could almost see a conspiratorial wink leaping off the digital page as the email continued. "Only hours remain! Time is running out to choose a free gift with your donation to the U.S. Olympic Committee... Take advantage of this special holiday offer. Choose from six of our popular limited-edition gifts when you make your donation," but you must act now! This offer expires at midnight on Sunday, November 16!"

The punctuation is theirs. The outrage is all mine. Not only are these people offering to sell me half-a-dozen "free gifts, they’re also using the kind of tactics once reserved for only the most unscrupulous members of the huckster class. "If you don’t buy this stock right now there’s no telling where it might be tomorrow." Or, "Look, this is a one-time offer on this little beauty with only 157,000 miles on it. If you walk out of the showroom you’re never going to see this price again."

Maybe this really isn’t intended to be the high-pressure pitch it sounds like, but it sure fooled me.

The ad copy goes on to note: "Our high-quality Olympic-branded merchandise will make wonderful gifts for the holidays, and your contribution goes to a great American cause. So take your pick of six free gifts with your donation to the U.S. Olympic Committee today!" Again with the exclamation point."

Philanthropists and other assorted patriots can "Choose from the following 6 great offers: A U.S. Olympic t-shirt, a U.S. Olympic fleece vest, a U.S. Olympic sweatshirt, a flashlight set, a pair of binoculars or a U.S. Olympic activity kit, consisting of a water bottle and a pedometer with a built-in FM radio."

The t-shirts, made of "100 percent preshrunk cotton" are "free with a $15.00 âœdonation." Everything goes for $20 except the "hoodie," which commands $25. And oh, by the way, "Order two or more of the same gift," for example, two fleece vests, or two flashlight sets. "and you’ll receive a bonus free gift of a U.S. Olympic tote bag!"

Have you noticed that virtually every sentence these people write ends with an exclamation point? As in "Act now before this offer is gone!" Followed by "Sincerely, The United States Olympic Committee," and this post script: "Remember, this offer ends Sunday and supplies are limited, so act fast to get the gift you want!"